Hello all my favorite unknown people who happen upon my ramblings! As uninspiring as I have been lately, my mind still rages on with my own inspiration. I’ve decided and felt inspired to in turn, share it with my unknown others. Sometimes the best therapy for a gal like me is to write my thoughts in my own public domain. A quick disclaimer of course, what I share is personal and yes, I am putting it into the public out lands. I just hope that what I share can give another person some comfort in the daily grunge that we all call home. I just feel that life is so amazing and we should all use that to our own benefit. Let’s all live life to our fullest potential and never look back! So here it goes…something that has been ticking in my mind and won’t go away is what I’ve come to think of as “The Art of the Number”….
I call this “The Art of the Number” because I feel that as a women I have been sucked into this number’s hole. It has honestly come to hurt my soul and shatter my world. In fact I have become so consumed by own number that I am no longer involved in living my own life. I shut out those around me and have completely found myself in a state of severe depression. All over this everlasting hope of achieving “The Art of the Number”. Fortunately, something struck me tonight and I can not let it go, the everlasting urge that I feel to share my own trials and tribulations. So here it is, raw and real.
I have found myself living and breathing over my own number, or known as my weight. For whatever reason, blame it on social media or or my own insecurities, I can not let it go. I find myself uncomfortable at a grocery store because I think that people are staring at me. I fell that when I complete a task people are judging me because I might not fit into their own acceptable number. However, the realist in me, understands that this is completely absurd!! I wake up and look in the mirror and my own realistic person says “Hello, you are an amazing human being”! I can work full time, go to school and raise two amazing children, but I can’t love me?! It is so insane the way we can look at ourselves at not understand our own worth purely based upon the number on the scale. I am not sure why I am sharing this, I just hope that others can realize the faults of their own minds. We are beautiful, no matter what number we see. Instead of telling people how great they look, how about telling them how great they seem to feel. Like, “I love that smile you are wearing” or “Hey great looking attitude you are owning today”. Our own emotions and our own internal beliefs are far more important than that number on the scale. I know deep inside that I am beautiful and I know that it travels to the outside as well.
As a mom, I look at my body and see years of scars and even more scars. No matter how many hours I spend at the gym and no matter how many cookies I ignore, I will still carry these scars. They may seem like a cruel and wicked portion of life, but the truth is that all of scars came from creating life. I look down at my belly and see something gross, when the reality is that I grew I human being in there. I did that and I did that twice. I am an amazing person who created life! What I want to get out of all of this is that I am not just “The Art of a Number”, I am strong and I am beautiful! I matter in this world and so does everyone else. Women need to unite and stand up for each other. We are all incredibly beautiful and we are not related to any F*$#ing numbers! Declare it loud and proud ladies, cause we are all a perfect ten! xoxo