How Batman Saved Christmas

I realized this holiday season, I don’t fear death or dying, it’s the mourn that I fear. It hurts to lose people to the other side. 
Why does mourning hurt so much? As horrible as this will sound, I welcome death. I know there is somewhere we go when we finish our time on earth. It’s being here without those we hold dear that hurts. It’s my grief and it’s my loss that has crippled me. I was hurt and I casted my pain and mourning on those closest to me. But instead of hiding and wallowing in self grief this Christmas, something strange happened to me. I decided to get the hell over it. I realized my pain and grief made me angry. I’m not even sure what I was angry at. I was just hurting and I needed somewhere for it to go. 
I have also felt my family drifting apart over this year of tragedy. I would also like to take this moment to define family. I have been shown so much unconditional love in my life. I have family, who do NOT share my DNA or blood that has loved me as their own, unconditional family. I would like to thank you for being mine. You are all beautiful people who have touched my life and my soul. Step-dads, moms, and grandparents, you are all so amazing. Anyways…back on track now. My family suffered a huge loss this year and we seemed to drift away from each other. I understand now that we are all just suffering in our own ways. It’s almost as if we he had to crawl into a hole to grieve and see the light. I am sorry for the way I grieved.
This holiday season brought me out of the grievance. All I wanted was my family.  I wanted to love and to be in their loving presence. Sometimes it takes losing someone to realize how meaningful everyone else is. If I could bring the ones we lost back, I would. I would a hundred times over. I know I cannot. So, I am choosing to find some way to make amends with it. 
I think that The Dark Knight Rises puts it best, “No one is ever going to know who saved the city….They will know it’s the Batman”. It’s even more fitting since Batman’s name is Bruce. I can’t bring anyone back. I can’t stop the mourning, but I can remember where we’ve been and where we are going.  So, thank you, my Batman. Thank you for bringing Christmas back to me. 

Thanks for making me smile. Thank you for all of the wonderful Christmas decor. 
Thank you for helping me through a hard time. Thank you for being a light for me when I was shaded in dark. 

This is my tribute to you both. Thank you for giving, and showing me love. You have three amazing children who have carried on your legacy, and who have shown me unconditional love as well. xoxo til we meet again. 


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